I have recently been undertaking several conversations with people I know about possible coaching engagements, mostly for themselves. What has been interesting to note is that many ask me to instead point them to other potential coaches to use.

“I know you’re a coach, but I’d like someone else, because you know me already/we’re too close already”. My interpretation of that is: I don’t want you to know everything about me, because it may change our relationship. There’s discomfort about being vulnerable to someone you know well.

I know other coaches who have often faced this dilemma. It’s really a trust issue, when you analyse it in detail, as well as insecurities on the part of your potential coachee as to your ethics and conduct.

So, let’s be clear. A coach is a professional, equipped to be objective and fully present in a session. Confidentiality is paramount. Bias and judgement are a non-issue as it is not a coach’s role to give advice, steer you in a direction or have an agenda for the sessions. 

A coachee’s session is unique and the agenda is set by him/her, as is the pace, the tone, the theme. It’s the coachees time to feel free, in thought, action and emotion. And to figure out how to work through what brought him/her to a session in the first place.